


yeah...later

by renjun_ah



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Implied Cheating, M/M, NCT Dream - Freeform, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 21:49:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18432770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renjun_ah/pseuds/renjun_ah
Summary: inside him, coiled deep, is the need to know…is he cheating on him?or car rides leave Renjun too much room to think





	yeah...later

The mood in the car is somber, his lips pressed together ever so tightly as he refuses to say a word, instead pretending to busy himself on his phone, alternating between looking out the window. Only to watch the many fleeting faces of the people passing as their driver guides them through the busy streets of Seoul.

For a moment Renjun’s gaze reflects on the man sitting next to him, following along that familiar jawbone while he is too busy looking out of the window on his own side to notice Renjun watching him.

Renjun had been watching him a lot lately.

Watching his gaze when others pass by, watching the way his eyes seem to light up every time he receives a text, watching the way he hurriedly exits the room when he gets phone calls.

It is as if he is a different person. Not completely foreign to Renjun but no quite what he used to be either.

He is no longer Jaemin, he thinks. Not the shy yet somehow vibrant 19 year old he has met three and a half years ago. He is a man now, a 22 year old man that seems to no longer belong to Renjun, the way he once used to.

“Do you have any preference for dinner today?”  
His sudden question causes Renjun to drift from his complicated thoughts, refocusing on Jaemin as he watches him speak to him but pay little to no attention to him, his eyes entranced by whatever it is on the screen of his phone, as he scrolls along the screen.

“No,” Renjun responds in a weak tone. “No preference.”  
Jaemin gives off a stiff nod, still looking down at the phone in his hand as he answers, “Okay.” As if he had expected Renjun to say just that.

Renjun can feel his insides vibrate, as if he is holding back the words he wants to so desperately push past his lips. The same words he has been trying to form for the past months. Instead he remains silent, sulking even further into the luxury black leather seat against his back.

He feels trapped, like he has no voice, no choice but to remain in his self imposed silence.

Because what is Renjun supposed to do?  
Where is he supposed to go?

In this unknown city, Jaemins city. Jaemin is all he knows and maybe there are local numbers in his phone of people he considers friends but does he really trust them not to judge him? Not to throw an ‘I told you so?’ at his face?

He will never forget all of those conversations.  
“He’ll change,” they had warned. “That same boy you see now won’t be the same one you see in a few months. I know you’re thinking that I don’t know much, that I just happened to pick the stereotypical celebrity and you ended up with the good guy but that’s not it,” “He is Na Jaemin, what can you offer him?”,they chuckled. “A man like him is wanted by many…”,“Do you think you can compete with that?”

The soft feel of someone’s hand sliding into his own makes him look up from his unintentional focus on the floor and towards a smiling Jaemin who is finally giving Renjun his unshared attention.

“What’s wrong? You seem bothered?” His smile lessens but still remains on his handsome face while his eyes show concern.

“Y-yeah. I mean no. I’m fine. Just thinking. That’s all.”

“About?”

He has pictured this in his mind for what felt like one hundred times. He’d ask him what is wrong and he’d begin with the question he wants to know the answer to most. In some thoughts, he’d laugh and question if Renjun is sane. In others, he’d get the answer he was dreading or no answer at all which would simply spell guilt without having to admit any. His mind frantically begins searching for a question, any question. Anything but the question that has been on his mind all these months.

“Just, how much I love you.”

His worried expression is quickly transforming into a soft smile, enjoying the feel of Jaemin’s thumb caressing the soft skin around his knuckles. Jaemin returns the smile himself followed by an, “I love you more.”

“Why do you love me?”

As soon as the words leave his lips he regrets them. Jaemin gives off a perplexed expression as his lips curl into a frown and he questions, “What? What do you mean?”

He at least doesn’t back down from this question, is what Renjun thinks. He can feel the slightest trace of hope bubble up inside his chest.

“Why do you love me?”

Jaemin chuckles, leaning back some in his seat and looking as if he is thinking if this is really being asked of him. “Uh, I don’t know.” His hand moves from Renjun’s and instead claps down onto his thigh. “Many reasons. Why are you asking me this?”

There was a time when he could have easily answered those type of questions as if Renjun had simply asked the answer to 1+1. Today he is given a different response. He could remember when Jaemin would spout off lists of the most random reasons to him, it didn’t matter if they were simple. They meant the world and they far surpassed the ‘I don’t know’ he had just received now.

“No reason.”

As if to save them from the further embarrassment the driver pulls up in front of Renjun’s apartment block. He doesn’t hesitate grabbing his bag and exiting the vehicle. The sound, or lack thereof, of Jaemin exiting behind him makes him turn and face Jaemin who is still seated in the backseat.

“Aren’t you getting out?” Renjun has expected him to follow him out of the door and up the stairs to his home but he instead shakes his head.

“No. I have a meeting I need to head to.”

“Will you be over _later_?”

“Probably not. I’m sorry.” He motions Renjun closer and he follows the instruction as he bends down to meet Jaemin’s lips for a quick goodbye kiss. “I’ll call you _later_ okay?”

“Yeah… _later_.”

He slams the car door shut and stands, watching as Jaemin blows him a kiss goodbye and the driver speeds off.

_Later_ seems to have become common.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! i hope you can enjoy this :))
> 
> my twitter: [x](https://twitter.com/hrjwlutw)  
> my cc: [x](https://curiouscat.me/renjunsbodyguard)


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